june

Hello everyone(^_^)

Now I’m sitting in cyber cafe with my bf beside me playing dota…and I looked back my blog and my feelings when I was typing all those I’ve been through lots.Those blog was SO NAIVE..never gonna let that happen again…I know there is long way more to go…I do appreciate lots of things in my life such as,family,friends and of coz my relationship that I’ve been through.but all of my relationship ended horribly hopefully this time won’t be the same.

All the time i though being honest, appreciiate, tolerate, understanding, encouraging, caring, independant and patient can work out all the problem in relationship.but maybe was wrong.sometimes being too nice in a relationship It won’t help at all.vice versa it might gone worst or will be stepped above my head by people.

Sometimes I’m in dilemma,I don’t know whether I should be nice.like I did before or I must really start to learn all the skills from others like my other girlfriend did,must have those bitchy attidute,must get angry in small matters, guessing around to know how the person feeling and what they want.Why can relationship and friendship be simple?Anything on the mind why don’t just say It out?Why can it be clear cut?Yes,sometimes after the cut it will be hurt but it is even better than keeping all the things and lying right?

I’m bad in hiding my feeling.I’m bad in playing guessing games.Is it that some people must feel the lost then only will appreciate?Is it that things too easy to get won’t be appreciated?Sometimes I tend to be too honest…but is it that bad?I was just trying to be myself…Now,I know where is my strengh and weakness.I’m now try to learn and analyse myself and try to become a better and wiser person…Will not let what had happened to me happen again…will change my future very much..watch out for me…

haha…don’t know what I’ve just blog…but just things that I feel like saying lor….(^_^) till next time then…..

Its kinda long i did not update my blog..within a blink of eyes,2008 is already in the month of feb…thank you to my friends who visited my blog..

My life now are more arrangeable than before..weekdays,working in a advertising company trying to focus more on my work and does not wanna care about other things..weekend,mostly chilling at home or just hang out with friends hv some beer or liqour..

The most depressed moment had gone..but I’m still in sad..I really don’t know what is so special about him that makes me still have strong feeling towards him..I still worry about him..still cares about him..but anyhow I pray that everything in his life goes smoothly and happy in no matter what he do..

Now I have fully steped into the working enviroment..naturally I’ve learn alot,learn more how to protect myself,how to see what is underneath every person mask,learn how to be more independance than I though I can never be before..

Lonely..Yes I’m living with that feeling on everyday of my life..yes I’m worry that I won’t find a person who cares me like him anymore,but now I’m trying not to think about it anymore…maybe just the timing not right..

I have been blessed that my older sister just gave birth to her 2nd child a baby girl..she brought cheers in my family again..

So that’s all about latest what is happening to me..

regards jUNe

So many things happened recently,suddenly i feel that I’ve really growth up.Now I’m working in advertising sales field,life being so stressfull to achieve quota and lots of things to worry.and also working everyday from monday to sunday in commiting myself with 3 jobs 3 different company.but get to meet lots of people and know much more of life compare to last time.

My beloved hurts me,In fact even more when I was just testing him n say I wanna break up with him.The reaction he gave me was totally unexpected.I put all my heart and soul into the relationship but getting a reply by after I test him n say break up is ‘u like la’.It had obviously shown that he dont love me as much as last time.No call or email or sms after I’ve said this to him.

Sometimes I really dont understand why.Why after so many thing we have been through,after so many things had been cherish and know each other for so many years,We were so happy together and He can do this to me.It really hurts me deeply than any of my previous relationship and seriously I’m scare to commit in another relationship again.

My life had been mess up,by partying and drinking non stop to make myself drunk and make myself temporary forget all the problem I’m facing including my family problem.But now,after I’ve cool down.Think more rasionally I know is no use to continue like that.

This is one of the reason I fully occupied my time by working non stop.I dont wanna give myself a space to be free to think about all the problem because I know by doing that time will heal.Recently just catch up with friends alot to hang out with them.Happy to see them.

Thanks to my best friend who always advice and share my problem with me,because of that,I only can become slighty better compare to when everything happened at 1st.

My life had become more mature.with more experience.I guess this is what is life all about.Every stages and lesson we go through makes us think more wiser.So that about it I wanna share with you all..

Thanks for the time for viewing my blog.You guys are welcome to comment about anything at all.

regards

jUNe

It all started from last Nite..I went out with my friends to neway karaoke box..with a fren tat just came back from oversea for long vacation..then my bf called n scold saying that why am i going out till so late..then just hang up  my phone..

Then today morning he sms me n said,he will ask his bro to take back all de things in my house.and when i reply he said ‘i have to just learn to live without me.n sorry cant take care of me anymore’ At that moment i was crying n totally numb n coz of tat i didnt go to work cant be able to focus on everything i do..after 2 hours of sms to him..n without reply..

Then later,he called me n said it was just a joke after all..OH God..joke?..at tat moment i feel blessed..coz my bf is not really leaving me..but i still crying non stop for no reason…n talk to him on de phone..my emotion is so hard to recover to normal..

During tat 2 hours i actually called his bro n asked wat happen..n really can feel de moment when i really lost my bf how would i feel..i realised tat i really do love him more than wat i  expected..

I duNno wat should i name today…but it was truthly not a good experince day..at that moment all i can feel it was really really sad….i told him not ever joke with all these things next time..

notty rite my bf?…haha

Since 14june i take off from msia for my 2nd trip to japan till now, its already almost 3 months.No doubt,life here with my lovely bf nic,its very happy.Im so great full tat god bring us together.He treat me really nice n caring.I get to know him better then it was before n i know i made a right choice.

While here seeing my family breaking apart n I cannot do anything to help out im feeling useless,n also while here seeing my friends went oversea n further their studies or taking a step further to degree studies.thinking back at myself,what bout me?what am i now?

Sadly to heard from my friend tat i fail my exam.but i still need to go back n reconfirm my results.Since tat day i got tis news my days were so worry on.I admit,im a person that have kinda high hopes on myself especially on my future on what am i going to be.but looking back at my days,probably i did not put enough effort on it.Im so regret now.

Coming 21september i will be back in msia.Alot of things need to be done.just hopefully my love nic,family n frenz will gave fully support to me on what im going to face in future,so im going to be brave enough.

This time life will never be de same when i get back,Hoping that i could turn over a new leaf.n also hope tat my baby will be back to msia as soon as he could n have a life with me.Days waiting to see him were never happy.Its just missing him really really much.As waiting for time pass by,its so slow n hard.any days without him accompany me while im in msia were so lonely.

HEre i pray to god that hoping that my future life will be happy n smooth going no matter in love life,family n friends.I wont let my love down.I promise.

after coming back from japan on feb,me n my dear did spend some time..n i really miss de days went i’m in japan..altough is not a very long long time..really thank god tat after so many years he brought me n my dear together…

now me n my bf r having a stable relationship..but i just can’t wait to meet my dear again..coz i really miss him,n this miss towards him is not stop no matter wat i’m doing..i can’t concentrate,even when i’m out with my friends..i hv tis feeling to go back home as soon as i could to chat with him on online phone..even tough i can’t feel his touch…

i really really suffering with tis misses towards him…i wish i could hv a life with him as soon as possible..i take my dear…as a encouragement for me to move on in everyday of my life..so i can move on faster day by day to finish all my things here n get to live with him..

y misses is so so painful n hard to stand?can anyone teach me how i could feel better?i really do love him..but sometimes my mind just blank but only know how to think of my dear..

well…..after de dissapointed tat i’ve mention at my previous blog…here goes another relationship of mine….a distance one…..well he’s all de way in japan n here i am in malaysia….act,me n him know each other like 7 years already…he was my 1st luv back when i’m 13…hehe…

then he shifted place i shifted school n v broke up just like tat..well,tat time v were small wat..dun really know wat’s relationship all bout..after 7 years…n v got together again…n i am going over to japan tis coming chinese new year to visit him….feeling so excited n can’t wait any longer…but after de visit….how it will b?…can v last?….well i know both of us hv to put in alot of commitment as well as trust….some more he wont b coming back to m’sia so fast…but i’m so into tis relationship…i think i can wait till he come back….

wat u all think bout tis distance relationship?….any comment?

relationships?….loves?…..i dunno y…every relationship i’ve been trough is always ended up damn sucks….sad n disappoited….n it always have a scars in my heart….i hv really think bout it…is it my problem well…i dun think so…if those ppl who’s my best fren they know how i treat my bf…so now i really disappointed on relationships n loves….so wat u guys thinks bout it?